My relationships..No 1

Waited ages to start dating..

No 1

Same church, choir members, cousin of my mate, she liked me; I was indifferent, came on to me strong, invited me out, gave gifts and dropped several hints. We started to hook up, wouldn't call them dates, just visits to her university and chatting after rehearsals and services, walks to the bus stops that allowed for 'deep' conversations.

My mate (her coz) told me to break my 'single' jinx and try dating.. I paid her a visit and we had a chat and she suggested that we take things to the next level, I smiled and said 'ok'..and she said we should pray! She said the prayer of course..Lord help us as we start this n bla..bla..

And so the sojourn began! The regular norm, long visits, chats and laughs, kissing and cuddling, no a few 2nd bases but never got to 3rd base, I didn't mind, I was a virgin and didn't want sex as well. We were attending uni in different states so I was away for months at uni and we wrote each other every week, no not email letters! Had a lecturer/ass choir dir/uncle who commuted every weekend and was the courier.

It went on and on like that and then differences began to manifest... I am the first of 3 children so also was she, her younger ones called her with the suffix 'auntie' before her name,(as was the tradition when regarding elders) I on the other hand was on first name terms with my siblings..so the story went that it was rude for my siblings to call her by her first name only...we dragged it out and I won in the end..

Many more issues came, family related, school related, distance related, loads! some girl from the choir is looking at me, i hugged someone..bla, bla...still struggled on, by the way along with abstinence but going bases 1&2 came 'blue balls' and boy was it hell?! Slowly, marriage talks crept up, marriage? i dont even tell you i love you back when you do! Clearly, i began to struggle with the demands of being 'the' boyfriend... "this is what you should be doing" "go and learn from your mates" bla..bla..bla. Was a relationship supposed to be that hard? why didnt i stay single i ask myself, i started to stay longer at uni..

Had the final straw one weekend... it was the burial ceremony of a close family friend, neighbour and church menber's mum and i invited her to come along, even though the venue was just 10 minutes from her house, i agreed to pick her up, sadly our car broke down that fateful afternoon, after travelling over an hour in the baking sun, cramped into a taxi with my folks, i still had to go pick her up. I didnt mind of course, that's expected of a boyfriend right? I got to hers and she was sleeping! Managed to get her up and instead of dressing up, she decided to watch and laugh about a kiddies program on tv for another half hour! I was slowly losing it, dressing up took another hour, i do know women take time to dress but please an hour to wear 'Iro and buba'? i was on the edge, we were on the way and that was when she decided to start sulking again, another long list of nags and moans..that was it! Kept quiet all through the party, she stormed off after a few hours..i knew right there and then that it was going end soon..went back to uni the next day..

Didnt send any letter the next week..lol, and the weekend after guess who i saw? yes she came into town...sadly after a 3day battle, we split up but she didnt go down without a fight...will save myself the embarrassment but it was a saga that made me hide at uni for months!

Interestingly, she's married now and she had her son on my birthday!!!!

Lesson learnt: Amongst loads..Never date out of pity, if you dont want to, dont do it!

No 2 coming at ya soon!