Tuesday, 26 August 2008

God catch me!


Niger was fun..at least..subtract the heat, and traffic and the fear of being mugged and the rest is good.

Wedding week went by in a blur, Got ticked off towards the end anyway....... my friend 'the groom' turned out to be too fussy ... i dont blame him anyway, he wanted everything to be perfect...led to alot of time wastage that just didnt sit right with me...by the end of the reception, i couldnt wait to be released. Im glad it went well though.

Met a couple of bloggers too...that was one of the greatest highlights of my trip.

Badderchic is one crazy, mad morasucker!!!!! i mean, she is hilarious and mad in all terms! Twins sista..you know i got mad love for you!

And of course...Dear Ibiluv! We chased each other with texts and phonecalls before i located that street!! And as fate would have it...she was my 'senior' at Uni! Sorry i had to leave in such a hurry....

To all other bloggers i didnt get to meet...sorry, i did send out an invite... you just didnt check on time!

So i went to Ibadan, and i decided to hook up with FJ (flings blog). She came to Gidi to see me but i was too caught up with the wedding preps and that didnt happen. I had spent half the day at my Uncle's and i was bored stiff, so i gave her a call and we agreed to meet up when she got off work. Quickly i grabbed my auntie's car keys and was waiting outside her office!

We drove around abit and then decided to chill at this quiet bar somewhere. We just chatted and caught up on old gist and she casually dropped that alcohol make her extremely horny and she just broke up with her boyfriend. I suggested that she sticks with softdrinks then but she decided to have 'some' alcohol.. so our conversation drifted to sexual experiences and what skills and techniques we have learned over time.... i told her my tongue has experienced alot of workout

Bar started to get busy, i was looking at the clock cos my aunty would want me and her car back as soon as i could get in.... so i suggested we hit the road. We got in the car and as i was about to start the car..she stopped me... 'why are you in such a rush?' she asked... i smiled, knowing what was coming, she planted her lips on mine...they were locked for a few minutes and i told her i didnt like the location cos cars were beginning to park beside us.. i suggested we drive to her neighbourhood (at least it would be easier for me to drop her off and scoot home)...

We drove off and she was restless with desire....my head was filled with all sorts... "to do or not to do?" on the way to her end, she suggested this location, somewhere on a hill, remotely dark and secluded. I parked, scanning my surroundings... i kept asking 'is this place safe?' I should have followed my instincts and kept on driving. I turned off the lights and the engine, locked the doors, still looking around me. She said she needed to take a leak...she got out and proceeded to do it beside the car...

I saw a shadow in the rear view mirror and i called her that someone was coming...before i blinked, it multipled, as i looked to my window, i saw a gun!

La Policia! yes the Nigerian police!!!! In the blink of an eye, she was bundled into their van that soon parked next to me. i got out and started to beg...Our offence?: We were in one of their major black spots, doing what not!

i was ordered to get into the car and start driving.... My head was completely messed up! how did i get myself into this? i lived in Nig for over 25 years and never got involved with the police and it had to happen on my trip? wonderful! I started to negotiate with the guy next to me on the way to the station, i told him i was an architect from lagos, working at a site in ibadan and i was willing to sort him out asap so we could end the whole thing. He kinda agreed. We got to the station and we parked outside, we got off and he called his superior from the van she was in, and he started to narrate my story to the boss, 'he's from lagos and bla, bla, bla, the superior flared and said he was told i was from London! My jaw dropped!

Well, the conflicting stories enraged and complicated the drama. I vehemently started re-negotiations, but was taken into the station, told to write a statement (which was written by the cop, was told to sign) At that point i offered him £50( i still maintained i was from lagos and it was a client's money) to cut the long story short, they refused the £s, took cash instead...after about 2 hours

I dropped her off and sped home, told my uncle i was stopped by cops cos i didnt have a license and was delayed for almost 2 hours... i was back in lag the next day, licking my wounds..

Got a final farewell on my way to the airport..... i was stopped in traffic (had one suitcase beside me cos it wouldnt fit in the trunk) got noticed by some 'lookout' cop and we were pulled over. We were all searched from head to toe, my pockets and wallet were emptied... they then proceeded to my luggage...all 3 of them, they went through everything.....i maintained sealed lips.... in my mind i was praying like a terrible sinner about to die! There was no point arguing and asking for a warrant...

Interestingly, we are putting up our house in Nigeria for lease so i took away all the important documents with me, i had to explain everything to them...luckily, every document that didnt belong to me had my surname still, at least proving that it belonged to a family member... "who is this?...my father".... "where is he?.....America"....."who is this?....my mother"..."where is she?..... it went on and on...but i wasnt ready to drop a dime! Thank God, i had set out for the airpot with almost 8 hours to spare, so didnt mind that they were wasting my time.... they got tired and cos i was quiet, they finally released me!

i got to the airport, Checked in and proceeded to the boarding gates at 5pm....my flight was at 11pm.....i just wanted to be as far away from trouble as possible....i couldnt wait to be out!!!!!

Feels good to be back...i've made up for all my sins!

Friday, 22 August 2008

Im back!

Im back in town!

Look out for MAD gists!!!!!

Will be back soon...got pending issues to attend to


Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Lagos here i come!!!


The original plan very early last year was a holiday...or down payment for my Audi A4

allow me to dream now!

My mate's getting married next weekend and im the Best man, im mega excited by this cos the last and 1st time i was best man, i was only 19 and it was a last minute move for an uncle, so this will be the first real 'man' experience.

As best man, i was shouldered with the burden of doing the shopping for the groom, myself and groom's men, an exciting opportunity for me...calling on my experience of 2 years as a retail manager..i didnt spare him the costs! ha! ha!!

Getting a ticket was expensive (the bastard chose the high season to marry)

We met during NYSC orientation in some eastern state and we became friends, we got to stay in the same house after orientation and deployment, we both moved back to lagos after settiling the Local govt officials. He was moving to the UK soon after NYSC and he had this terrible send off party after the passing out ceremony that had boys drinking till 2am in the morning and sleeping in their vomits.

He got to the UK and became born again! i remember my shock when i got to london and 'brother tunde' was full of scriptures, i was skeptical for months but he remained fervent. He was and is a true friend, he was there unconditionally when i went through some rough patches and those times and good deeds have stayed with me..he is definitely worth the time and effort!

I am sincerely happy that he's crossing into this phase of his life with his girlfriend of 9 years! and i am honoured to make sure he crosses that bridge! 3 happy cheers to the couple.

How's that for the Best man's speech.. lol... i lost the plot and storyline ages ago(im wasting man hours writing this blog)

Anyways, i shall be landing Las Gidi on the 11th! i am really looking forward to this trip actually...

Any Gidi resident bloggers looking to hook up? Ibi, this is an open invitation.