Tuesday, 26 August 2008

God catch me!

Well...

Niger was fun..at least..subtract the heat, and traffic and the fear of being mugged and the rest is good.

Wedding week went by in a blur, Got ticked off towards the end anyway....... my friend 'the groom' turned out to be too fussy ... i dont blame him anyway, he wanted everything to be perfect...led to alot of time wastage that just didnt sit right with me...by the end of the reception, i couldnt wait to be released. Im glad it went well though.

Met a couple of bloggers too...that was one of the greatest highlights of my trip.

Badderchic is one crazy, mad morasucker!!!!! i mean, she is hilarious and mad in all terms! Twins sista..you know i got mad love for you!

And of course...Dear Ibiluv! We chased each other with texts and phonecalls before i located that street!! And as fate would have it...she was my 'senior' at Uni! Sorry i had to leave in such a hurry....

To all other bloggers i didnt get to meet...sorry, i did send out an invite... you just didnt check on time!

So i went to Ibadan, and i decided to hook up with FJ (flings blog). She came to Gidi to see me but i was too caught up with the wedding preps and that didnt happen. I had spent half the day at my Uncle's and i was bored stiff, so i gave her a call and we agreed to meet up when she got off work. Quickly i grabbed my auntie's car keys and was waiting outside her office!

We drove around abit and then decided to chill at this quiet bar somewhere. We just chatted and caught up on old gist and she casually dropped that alcohol make her extremely horny and she just broke up with her boyfriend. I suggested that she sticks with softdrinks then but she decided to have 'some' alcohol.. so our conversation drifted to sexual experiences and what skills and techniques we have learned over time.... i told her my tongue has experienced alot of workout

Bar started to get busy, i was looking at the clock cos my aunty would want me and her car back as soon as i could get in.... so i suggested we hit the road. We got in the car and as i was about to start the car..she stopped me... 'why are you in such a rush?' she asked... i smiled, knowing what was coming, she planted her lips on mine...they were locked for a few minutes and i told her i didnt like the location cos cars were beginning to park beside us.. i suggested we drive to her neighbourhood (at least it would be easier for me to drop her off and scoot home)...

We drove off and she was restless with desire....my head was filled with all sorts... "to do or not to do?" on the way to her end, she suggested this location, somewhere on a hill, remotely dark and secluded. I parked, scanning my surroundings... i kept asking 'is this place safe?' I should have followed my instincts and kept on driving. I turned off the lights and the engine, locked the doors, still looking around me. She said she needed to take a leak...she got out and proceeded to do it beside the car...

I saw a shadow in the rear view mirror and i called her that someone was coming...before i blinked, it multipled, as i looked to my window, i saw a gun!

La Policia! yes the Nigerian police!!!! In the blink of an eye, she was bundled into their van that soon parked next to me. i got out and started to beg...Our offence?: We were in one of their major black spots, doing what not!

i was ordered to get into the car and start driving.... My head was completely messed up! how did i get myself into this? i lived in Nig for over 25 years and never got involved with the police and it had to happen on my trip? wonderful! I started to negotiate with the guy next to me on the way to the station, i told him i was an architect from lagos, working at a site in ibadan and i was willing to sort him out asap so we could end the whole thing. He kinda agreed. We got to the station and we parked outside, we got off and he called his superior from the van she was in, and he started to narrate my story to the boss, 'he's from lagos and bla, bla, bla, the superior flared and said he was told i was from London! My jaw dropped!

Well, the conflicting stories enraged and complicated the drama. I vehemently started re-negotiations, but was taken into the station, told to write a statement (which was written by the cop, was told to sign) At that point i offered him £50( i still maintained i was from lagos and it was a client's money) to cut the long story short, they refused the £s, took cash instead...after about 2 hours

I dropped her off and sped home, told my uncle i was stopped by cops cos i didnt have a license and was delayed for almost 2 hours... i was back in lag the next day, licking my wounds..

Got a final farewell on my way to the airport..... i was stopped in traffic (had one suitcase beside me cos it wouldnt fit in the trunk) got noticed by some 'lookout' cop and we were pulled over. We were all searched from head to toe, my pockets and wallet were emptied... they then proceeded to my luggage...all 3 of them, they went through everything.....i maintained sealed lips.... in my mind i was praying like a terrible sinner about to die! There was no point arguing and asking for a warrant...

Interestingly, we are putting up our house in Nigeria for lease so i took away all the important documents with me, i had to explain everything to them...luckily, every document that didnt belong to me had my surname still, at least proving that it belonged to a family member... "who is this?...my father".... "where is he?.....America"....."who is this?....my mother"..."where is she?..... it went on and on...but i wasnt ready to drop a dime! Thank God, i had set out for the airpot with almost 8 hours to spare, so didnt mind that they were wasting my time.... they got tired and cos i was quiet, they finally released me!

i got to the airport, Checked in and proceeded to the boarding gates at 5pm....my flight was at 11pm.....i just wanted to be as far away from trouble as possible....i couldnt wait to be out!!!!!

Feels good to be back...i've made up for all my sins!

25 comments:

Afrobabe said...

Firssssssssssssssssssttt..

I got to stop yelling this but feels so darn good...

Enigma said...

I knew you would be first...

Risk analyst...na work you suppose dey o!

Afrobabe said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhh I always knew Badderchic would be a real mad morasucker…lol..just got to love the babe yeah??

Hmmm…alcohol makes her horny so she’ll take alcohol…hmmmm ok now!!!

Ok…when you say you’ve made up for ur sins, which sins exactly and with whom did u commit the sin and make the attonemnt????
My ears are wide open…

Afrobabe said...

I dey work oh, u need to see the back log from the weekend and bank holiday...i decided it will still be there after I finish my amaebo rounds in blogsville...

was I right???

of course!!!

Afrobabe said...

Only me 4 comments, not bad...lmao...

Invisible said...

Damn it. I'm still second sha, off to read.

Enigma said...

I stand corrected... and i plead the 5th, i sha made up or atoned for my sins..

You never finish amebo runs? it's past lunch already o...abeg u get vacancy for your office...i like your kin job...

Still waiting for your email *wink* i might divulge more secrets *2 winks!*

Invisible said...

Lmao. Although I already heard the story, it's still funny. I can imagine that late night runs, reminds me of the time la policia stopped us 3 times in one trip and finally confiscated the car.

lol @ afrobabe asking what sins you committed and with who? Why am I not curious *wink*, lol.
I don't even know what I'm writing.

Funms said...

afrobabe stop stalking!!!!
u met bloggers!!! im jealous....
wait o, if she said alcohol made her horny and wanted to take, y didnt u stop her? ehn, u sef!!!
Naija police and drama.... sure ur glad to be back

Ms.O said...

wow that was an "interesting" trip!! Naija police men!! I dunno how am gonna survive when I go home. Good to ahve u back..I wanna know how you made up for the sins too!!!

mizchif said...

Sounds like u had fun.
A least the Police provided you with stories to tell.

Lady Koko said...

ENIGGGGGGMAAAAA!!!!!!! *interesting*......buhahahhhah!!!!!
"she said alcohol made her horny"....THAT WAS THE SIGN.....THE NIGHT WAS DESTINED TO END THAT WAY...LOLOLOLLOLOL
oh so u met badderchic too??? I CAN IMAGINE JUST HOW FUNNY THAT BABE IS.....
P.S:xoxo

badderchic said...

see how you pple are talkin about me as if Im not here psheeeew! lol

ENIGMAAAAAAA! ki Olorun so e o! ehn Twins brothers, how na?

okay, head swell syndrome, Im gettin too much of it, someone told me I was a very nice person this evening, I couldnt stop blosheen, I mean I know Im nice but errm o sa mo.

okay now you have told everybody Im a truly wonderful perlson ehn.

tains tains! lol

glad you are okay bro, real glad.

Chari said...

Na de the thing wey person know how to chop na im dey kill am!

LOL! sorry o bros...guess I was luckier than u when I jammed them coppers here..., very recently i might add

ibiluv said...

u sef like wahala.....
follow babe go deserted area....
as u go gree....
why u no allow am drink all the alcohol she be wan consume???

dont u just love the nigerian police?
ori yo e.... u left home early
you for buy another ticket.....yeye policia........

u don make up for lost tyme???...*wink*

NaijaBabe said...

Lol...pele
Now you make me change my mind about going to naija....not that I'd have gotten into your kinda escapades...lol

exschoolnerd said...

sorry bout ur encounter with the police..must have really been horrible coming to naija after a while and having to go thru all that wahala!!!!!

so m nt the only one who thinx badderchic na crase gurl!!!

exschoolnerd said...

sorry bout ur encounter with the police..must have really been horrible coming to naija after a while and having to go thru all that wahala!!!!!

so m nt the only one who thinx badderchic na crase gurl!!!

Buttercup said...

oh damn...pele! i dont even know what to say...lol...

i wish i cud meet bloggers...

abby said...

lol...this ur comment box get as e be o..lol

at least u had fun..naija can be a mess o

Toluwa Lase said...

new here..like it..
eeyah! all dt wahala on ur trip...glad u r back to wherever u reside safe!

NigerianDramaQueen said...

I'm so jealous of all of you that get to meet bloggers! well when your in the states...
Looks like you had a blast. I want the more intricate details of your trip *wink wink
SPILL

Tisha said...

you wanted to do the dirty with the
ibadan chic and got caught
can't say sorry
only good for u
next time get a room

Esmeralda said...

there woulda been no point meeting u
anyway since i hear u are firmly attached!lol, i keed, i keed!

glad u had "fun", even if it was just with the police...lol

anyhoo, be good

funkola said...

i'm ur new blog stalker!!!
& naij po po...complete dick heads...lucky they didnt frame u.